The Omake of the Godless Month!
by DezoPenguin
Summary: In the tenth month, the gods have abandoned humanity to gather in Izumo, leaving the world vulnerable to a swarm of bad jokes and miniature humor fics featuring Himeko, Chikane, and occasionally the rest of the Kannazuki no Miko cast!
1. KnS: Allergic to Love

_A/N: Well, I have them for _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha _and for _My-HiME_, so why not an omake collection for _Kannazuki no Miko_ as well? I've got enough of them stored up from the forums to at least make it worth putting together a collection. I hope everybody enjoys them and finds them funny!_

_This particular omake takes place during my manga-sequel novel, _Kannazuki no Shimai_, which explains who the heck Marika is and why Himeko and Chikane are sisters. Those of you who are really sharp-eyed may notice that I actually referred to this event in the lemon side-story, "Moving Day."  
_

* * *

"Swimming?" Himeko gulped. "We're going to be swimming in phys. ed. today?"

"Yeah, they announced it right at the end of class yesterday. Didn't you hear?" her best friend Marika Ohgami confirmed the bad news.

"Um, no..."

Marika shook her head, causing the glitter gel holding her forest of golden and aqua spikes upright to sparkle.

"Really, Hikari, you really can be a space cadet sometimes. It's hard to believe you and Miya-sama are twins."

It was hard for Himeko to believe, too. Especially since in their present lives as Hikari and Tsukuyo Asamiya, they still possessed all the memories of their previous lives as Himeko Kurusugawa and Chikane Himemiya. Even more especially because in those past lives they hadn't _been_ sisters or even related. They'd been lovers. Or more accurately, still _were_ lovers.

"Y-yeah," Himeko stammered as they walked into the girls' locker room, making Marika--who knew perfectly well about Himeko and Chikane's actual relationship--grin evilly.

Their lockers were adjoining, which was good because Himeko figured she would need some support. Facing the grim inevitability of it, she took off her blazer and began to unbutton her shirt. Marika glanced at her oddly as she stripped off her uniform.

"You wore your gym clothes under your uni today?"

"Um, yeah. Mom and Dad had a dinner party with one of Dad's co-workers last evening, so they were gone most of the night."

"Oh, man, you mean--?"

Himeko nodded sadly, then gritted her teeth for the inevitable and pulled off her shirt. She had the shorts off, too, before someone noticed.

"Waah! Miya-chan, what happened?" someone squealed.

"Omigod, look at her!"

"But...but I didn't even know she had a boyfriend..."

"Such a shameless display. How can she embarrass Miya-sama like that?" a particularly sneering voice chimed in, no doubt belonging to one of Chikane's fangirls.

"But she seemed so innocent!"

The reactions weren't out of line, thought a frantically blushing Himeko. Not when her collarbone, breasts, stomach, back, and upper thighs were liberally speckled with the red and purple marks of (as she'd best been able to count) eighteen hickeys.

"N-no, it's not what you think," she protested, fluttering her hands helplessly. "It's--it's just hives, that's all. I always break out this time of year, something about all the pollen being bad for my allergies."

"Yeah, she gets this a lot," Marika chimed in, coming to her friend's defense. "What, you seriously thought _Hikari_ had been out with some guy?"

The couple of seconds that passed seemed like an eternity for Himeko, but the big sigh and murmurs of disappointment that went through the other girls as the potential for juicy gossip evaporated then brought blessed relief. She turned back to her locker to get out her swimsuit.

"Pollen, huh?" Marika murmured softly so that no one else could hear her, then added with an evil grin, "Allergic to your sister's lip balm, I might have believed!"


	2. The Battle Crying Game

**"Hooooorrraaah!"**

The president of the Ototachibana Academy chorus jerked her hand back from the music room door, startled by the roaring noise coming from behind it. She nearly crashed into the two students coming up behind her, she'd pulled back so fast.

"My God, what was that?" one of the others exclaimed. They looked at each other nervously. After the school and the town had been attacked by giant robots three days ago, the students' lives had gotten a lot more nervous, for all that everyone seemed to be trying to press on with a semblance of normalcy.

**"Yeeeaaaaaagghhh!"**

"It...it sounds almost human..." one of the chorus members mentioned.

"Do you think it's someone in trouble?"

"I don't know," said the president helplessly. "It...it doesn't sound like it's in pain. It sounds _angry_!"

"Mmn! Mmn!" said the third student, her head bobbing up and down frantically. She was only a first-year, and she was getting scared fast.

**"Roooooarrrrrrrr!"**

They nearly jumped in place; this one was louder and fiercer than before, and seemed to carry with it a martial spirit, the sense of violence and conflict. All of them remembered how the dorms had been torn apart like cardboard, and how blasts of lightning had detonated throughout the town.

"We'd...we'd better not go in there," the president decided. "We'll go tell a teacher about this!" The others were wholeheartedly behind her decision; they scampered off down the hall.

**"Aaaaaarrrrrrghhhh!"**

"That's better," encouraged the voice instructor, who had no idea what was going on just outside the door. "But remember, you need to breathe from the diaphragm to give it proper voice."

"Thank you, sensei. I'll keep working on that. I really appreciate you using your free time to help coach me this way."

He shook his head.

"Not at all, Ohgami-kun. I'm glad to help a student who shows such initiative. But we are going to have to stop for today; chorus practice starts in a couple of minutes. Strange...they're usually here by now..."

_Don't worry, Himeko_, Souma thought. _To protect you, I'll work as hard as I'm able in every aspect of my training. Even my _kiai_ battle cries have to be perfect if I'm going to fight the Orochi!_

~X X X~

_A/N: I like Souma. He's kind, strong, unfailingly supportive, and happily steps aside in the end without any obnoxious or incredulous remarks about what Himeko's doing with another girl. Which doesn't mean I'm not going to make fun of him just as ruthlessly as I do the rest of the cast in these omake!_


	3. Special Delivery

The courier was sweating and panting for breath, his calves aching from exertion as he at long last gained the top of the last staircase. Bad enough he had to walk through the woods behind the Ohgami Shrine on a twisting dirt path and then up a staircase that he swore was a half-mile long. But no; as soon as he'd walked through the last pair of prayer gates at the top of the ascent, there was _another_ set of stairs, because it wasn't enough to have a shrine on top of a mountain. No, the thing had to be on a platform of its own, a couple of hundred feet high!

"At least there's no chance I'm in the wrong place," he muttered, "not after all these ridiculous directions." And to have to make the delivery in the dead of night! Someone must be paying the company a pretty penny for this treatment.

He crossed the portico and knocked on the closed doors. There was no response, so he knocked again.

"I'll be right there!" a girl's voice yelled. There was a rustling noise from within, and a scampering of feet. The door was opened a few moments later by a young, blonde woman, a girl really. She wore the traditional vestments of a _miko_, with red trim on her jacket to match her pleated _hakama_, but her face was flushed and her hair tousled, and her _obi_ tied with a plain knot instead of a bow. "I'm sorry that I made you wait."

"It's all right, miss." He was actually grateful for the chance to catch his breath. "Um, package for Miss Chikane Himemiya, Lunar Shrine, via Ohgami Shrine, Mahoroba?" he read the label.

"This is the right place." The girl turned and called back into the shrine. "Chikane-chan, it's a package for you!"

"Could you sign for it, Himeko?" replied another woman, her voice lower-pitched and well-modulated.

"Is that all right?" the blonde asked him.

"Oh, yes, so long as you're a resident here."

She took the pen and tablet and signed "Himeko Kurusugawa" in a slightly childish hand.

"I'm sorry to make you come all this way," she said as she handed the pad back. "I know it must be terribly inconvenient."

"For you, too, if you live out here."

The miko nodded.

"A little, but I'm really happy to be here. Of course, our cable and Internet service required divine intervention--"

"I bet!" the driver chuckled.

"—but at least the view is great!"

He handed her the box.

"Thank you."

"Good night, miss."

She stepped back inside and slid the door shut. The driver turned to go, took a step forward, and stopped in his tracks.

She'd been right. It _was_ a great view. Though admittedly he really had nothing to compare it to. He'd never been anywhere that had a view of the _Earth_ in the night sky.

~X X X~

Chikane was sitting up in the futon, the sheet wrapped around her, when Himeko brought the box in.

"Here you are, Chikane-chan. What did you order?"

Chikane glanced away, blushing faintly.

"Chikane-chan?" Himeko glanced at the label. The package had come from an anime-merchandise store in Akihaibara. She grinned and said, "You didn't order some naughty _bishoujo_ game, did you?"

"No!"

Himeko giggled. She sat down, put the box in Chikane's lap, and slid her arms around her lover from behind. "That's good. I hope I'm naughty enough for you!" She peeked over Chikane's shoulder. "So what is it?"

Chikane tore off the pull-strip and opened up the box to reveal a scale model Gundam resin kit, together with glue, paints, and all the tools she'd need to assemble it. Himeko blinked in surprise.

"Wow, Chikane-chan, I never knew you were into this kind of thing!"

"I never really got the chance to indulge in my position as the Himemiya heiress."

"I see." Then another thought struck her. "Hey, last lifetime, when you killed me, that meant that you got to pick the new world, right?"

"Yes."

Himeko giggled.

"_Now_ I understand why all the gods manifested as giant mecha!"


	4. They Said She'd Make a Good Housewife

_A/N: Much like in "Special Delivery," I rather enjoy playing around with the idea of just what do manga Chikane and Himeko do (besides each other) when sealed up in the Lunar Shrine together for all those years between cycles._

_And Himeko has to have a Berserk Button in there _somewhere_, right?_

~X X X~

The God of Swords, Ame no Murakumo, arrowed through space, crossing the void between the dying Earth and its moon as it had so many times before, seeking out the final confrontation with its opposite number, Yamata no Orochi. Within the body of the god lay its priestesses, the two maidens who, whatever names they went by in any particular incarnation, thought of themselves as Himeko Kurusugawa and Chikane Himemiya, because those were the names they'd carried when they'd discovered their love for one another and so had shaped how they'd face the eternal cycle of their destiny.

As always, the combined form of Yamata no Orochi waited for them above the shattered Lunar Shrine beneath which it had once been sealed. As they had through the ages, the lesser deities of Orochi as well as Ame no Murakumo appeared as something akin to great animated statues, golem-like monsters in the shapes of great beasts or armored warriors or, to the eyes of later ages, like mecha from a science-fiction show. The complete body, the _Gattai Orochi_, though, began to break down that illusion, revealing its true nature. The incarnated chaos seethed within it; though it was roughly in manlike shape it would twist and change, a joint bursting into a set of fanged jaws or a pair of eyes bright with madness looking out from an unnatural place on its anatomy.

"Yes! At last, you come to me, Ame no Murakumo!" The voice of Orochi's First Neck, Ryuu Kazama, boomed out across that airless void, conveyed from the core of one deity to the other. Chikane knew that they were probably stepping into the Neck's trap; Kazama had arranged for the deaths of his fellow Necks, absorbing their powers, and now stood ascendant, seeking to master the dark god and reshape the world to his whim. They had to be careful, lest the madman have one final surprise for them. "Now, when you lie broken and I claim—"

He probably had something more to say, a master plan to spin out for them, but he never got the chance.

"You _idiot_!" Himeko screamed.

Chikane was nearly jolted out of her perch at the second control station as Ame no Murakumo exploded forward, slamming into Yamata no Orochi with a shoulder charge that spat the God of Destruction tumbling through space.

"Don't you have any idea about us?"

They spun after the giant monstrosity. Ame no Murakumo's hand closed on Orochi's wrist, and the God of Swords' right knee whipped up, the bladelike spur of its armor plate tearing a rent in its enemy's belly. Black ichor poured from the wound like blood from a fleshly creature, despite its apparently mechanical nature.

"We spend every interval between the cycles of rebirth sealed together in the Lunar Shrine!"

The mirror-like discs beneath Himeko's palms glowed, and Ame no Murakumo whirled its foe through a looping turn and hurled it with tremendous velocity towards the lunar surface. It struck with titanic force, the impact blasting rock and dust up in a swelling cloud.

"It's been over four hundred years since the last cycle ended!"

Ame no Murakumo descended like a thunderbolt, its fist slamming into Orochi's face and literally obliterating the head. A wheel kick launched the dark god off the lunar surface again, caving in a good third of its torso as it did. The mortally wounded demon screamed in pain and hatred from mouths sprouting all over its body.

"When Orochi was unsealed, it destroyed the shrine! It was blasted to splinters! _It took us over three centuries to settle on the living room décor, you stupid monster!_"

Bolts of golden and silver-blue light lanced from the chest panels of Ame no Murakumo, impaling the _Gattai Orochi_ and compressing it down to a single point of light, the core of the evil god that was drawn back to the moon and buried beneath the surface. In the next moment, the Lunar Shrine reassembled itself, a simple building on a towering platform with a long staircase leading up to it through several prayer gates, the seal recreated until once again the malice of the Earth's people should build to a level that called Yamata no Orochi forth.

The two priestesses found themselves standing on the moon's surface, their swords in hand, while above them their god towered, shining with brilliant golden light.

"Himeko?"

"Yes, Chikane-chan?"

"I just wanted to say that this time, when we're sealed within the Shrine..."

"Mm?"

"...you can pick the wallpaper."

"And the kitchen tiles!"


	5. Miscasting Call

_A/N: Completely breaking the fourth wall here, but hey, haven't you always wondered what a shonen hero character like Souma is doing playing third wheel in a yuri series?_

~X X X~

_2004:_

Souma Ohgami knocked on the Murasaki Productions office door.

"Look, I tell you, I can't work miracles! I'm a casting director, not a saint!"

He flinched back, surprised to be getting yelled at before the door had even opened. Agents and producers could be a temperamental lot, yeah, but even so...

"Look, Taki, they say that _moe_ stuff is really taking off. I'm sure I'll have something soon, but until then—gah!" There was a ringing crash, and Souma realized it was a phone handset being slammed down, which explained the yelling. He knocked again.

"Come in!"

Souma went inside, shutting the door behind him.

"Ah, Ohgami-kun, good to see somebody sensible. You probably heard some of that, right? Guy's an agent representing a dozen or so girls with big eyes that look like they're half their age and is begging me to find parts for 'em. Man, he's out of luck unless someone greenlights another visual novel adaptation. I tell you, filling anime series with characters is no easy job."

"Well, it's no easy job _being_ a character, either," Souma said, sitting down.

"Yeah, I suppose so. You're looking for work, then?"

Souma nodded.

"It pays the rent."

"It ain't easy, either. I mean, you're the _shonen_ hero type, and these days they all want milquetoasts for the leading men."

Souma sighed heavily.

"That's what I was afraid of. So you've got nothing for me, then?"

"Nah, sorry. Oh, wait, there's this one...it sort of calls for your type as the male lead. I've been having a heck of a time finding somebody who's willing to take it, and it's supposed to start filming next week."

"Let me take a look at it. I mean, food costs money, right?"

"Sure." Murasaki shuffled through the papers on his desk, pulled one out, and handed it to Souma. "Take a look."

Souma took the page and began to read the description of the role.

"Hey, not bad—handsome, star athlete, good student, the 'prince' of the school, in love with his childhood friend, so he plans to ask her out on her birthday. Is this a slice-of-life school drama?"

"Nah, more of a love story with some supernatural and mecha elements tossed in for dramatic effect."

"Oh, okay." He kept reading. "Solar Priestess, Yamata no Orochi, ancient deities manifesting as giant robots...yeah, I see what you mean. So, my character is one of these Orochi and is supposed to kill the priestesses, but his love for the girl is so strong that it gives him the will to defy Orochi's curse, and pilot his giant robot to protect her against the other Orochi? He sounds like a pretty cool guy. He's not some kind of perv or something, is he?"

Murasaki shook his head.

"Nah, he's actually a little shy around girls; they don't want him to be too perfect but it's an endearing flaw instead of a real problem."

"So why don't want people want the part?"

"Keep on going."

Souma read the next part of the description, about the character's past, how his older brother murdered their abusive father to protect him, and that brother's ensuing spiral into the underworld, a life of violence and misery, made him the man who became leader of the Orochi. The abuse was kind of creepy, yeah, but the subplot could be a good one if properly developed. He was about to ask more questions when the phone rang.

"Sorry, Ohgami-kun; I've got to take this." Murasaki picked up the phone. "Yo! Hey, yeah, I'm working on it. No, cute mascot critters don't grow on trees, y'know..."

Souma tuned out the voices as he read the page over again. He didn't really see what the problem was. The role seemed like a pretty standard _shonen_ lead, and without a lot of the emo angst that a lot of recent mecha-show leads had to suffer through. He set the paper back down.

"—and no, you can't just recast the tentacle monster and hope the audience won't notice!" Murasaki slammed the headset back down. "Idiot!" He glanced over at Souma. "Finished?"

"Yeah. I'll take it."

"Wait, really? Damn, Ohgami-kun, you're an open-minded guy."

"Oh, you mean the yaoi subtext with the shrine assistant? Nah, it's a nice bonus for the fans; there's no problem."

"No, I—" He shrugged. "Ah, well, I'm not complaining." He dug out the contract, filled in Souma's name, and passed it over. "Sign pages 2 and 3."

The young man did as asked and returned the contract. The director got up, made a copy for Souma, and faxed the signed form off to the studio. "Good, so don't go on any trips, Ohgami-kun, 'cause they'll messenger the Episode 1 script to you in the next couple of days."

"Great! Thanks." Souma hopped up, a grin on his face—and why not; he had gainful employment now. With a cheery wave, he left the office and shut the door behind him.

"Funny," mused Murasaki. "He didn't hesitate at all. Did he really finish reading the description?" He picked it up off the desk and turned the page over, where the fallout from _Kannazuki no Miko_'s yuri content was depicted—the male lead getting beaten thoroughly, having his mecha stolen, then after recovering to fight alongside his love interest finally ending up supporting her in her romance with the other priestess. "Ah, well, I'm sure Ohgami-kun will do fine in the role. He's a nice kid at heart."


	6. And Then After

_A/N: Believe it or not, this omake takes place in the anime continuity!_

Yamata no Orochi was sealed. The world was revived, and life went on without anyone knowing what sacrifices had been made...

~X X X~

Souma Ohgami was rejected by his first crush, who didn't know whom it was she loved but was pretty sure it wasn't him. He sublimated the emotional pain into sports success, until his nickname evolved to "Tennis no Jin-sama." A copyright infringement action was narrowly avoided.

~X X X~

Yukihito graduated from college with a double major in journalism and psychology and started a popular advice column for teenage boys struggling with how to impress their would-be girlfriends.

~X X X~

Kazuki Ohgami curled up with a cup of tea and a good book after hanging a "Do Not Disturb Until The Next Apocalypse" sign on his study door.

~X X X~

Reiko Ota continued _Atashi no Bremen Love_ through seventeen volumes, five Drama CDs, three anime seasons, and a live-action feature film. She never stopped thinking of it as derivative pap, but since it made her famous enough that she could mercilessly abuse her editor and get away with it, she decided the trade-off was worth it.

~X X X~

Girochi sought treatment for his phobia of large-breasted women. His psychologist prescribed immersion and confrontation therapy, so he now works as a cameraman on the production of _Baywatch: Tokyo._

~X X X~

Tsubasa declined to be interviewed for this omake. The author chose life rather than press the point.

~X X X~

Izumi, Kyoko, and Misaki woke up one morning with no idea whom it was they were supposed to be madly idolizing. Nevertheless, they thought that "Izumi and the Fangirls" made a good name for a pop group and so started a music career. They reached their pinnacle of success when they opened for Corona in Fresno.

~X X X~

Corona never actually showed up in Fresno because after settling her lawsuit with her management company over mishandling her career for massive damages, she opened a chain of nightclub/restaurants with a music-industry theme. As of this printing, there are 437 "One-Hit Wonders" open throughout Japan and the Pacific Rim.

~X X X~

After winning an Olympic bronze medal in cross-country, Makoto Saotome parlayed her fame into a TV exercise program, _Wake Up with Mako-chan!_ It quickly became a smash success due to its regular feature of beginning every show with a glamorous guest star tumbling out of bed wearing lingerie.

~X X X~

Citing past-life experience, Sister Miyako produced a best-selling line of lesbian tentacle bondage pornography, then donated nearly the entire net profits to a variety of Christian charities dedicated to helping the homeless and disenfranchised. Opinion on whether this was out of charitable motives or just to watch the administrators squirm remains evenly divided.

~X X X~

Nekoko graduated with honors from medical school and helped develop a revolutionary new drug therapy to help calm the tormented minds of socially-inhibited _otaku_ who obsessively fetishize creations such as loli catgirl nurses.

~X X X~

Otoha Kisaragi retired from domestic service, moved to the Netherlands, and married a classical concert pianist, for whom she manages all aspects of their home life.

~X X X~

Himeko and Chikane met one another at an intersection in a random city several years later and instantly knew each other's faces. They are expected to make a full recovery and live happily ever after despite being hit by a bus when they were still embracing after the light changed.


	7. AmeMite:  You Just Had to Bring That Up

_This story takes place in my "_Ame no Murakumo ga Miteru" _setting._

~X X X~

Kurusugawa Himeko leaned back against the oak tree and pulled the latest volume of _Midnight Dreaming_ out of her school bag.

"Oh, hey, is that the new one?" asked Arrow Ohgami.

"Mmn! I just got it yesterday. I can't wait to finish it!" Her fingers found the place she'd bookmarked and opened it up. "It's one of my favorite series."

"I used to read that one. I liked the way they mix the girls'-love romance with an ongoing plot, but I dropped it after the fourth volume," noted Alice Ishida.

"Oh, why is that?" Himemiya Chikane asked the Canadian redhead who'd become her closest friend during this lifetime.

Alice made a sour face.

"That old 'rape-is-love' crap."

"Rape...is love?" asked Alice's girlfriend, Nanase Saya, confusion plain on her elegant features. A sheltered girl in many ways, the familiar cliches of trashy romance novels and manga weren't all that familiar to her.

"Oh, geez, I hate that one," Arrow said.

"You'll see it in a lot of romances," Alice explained. "One of the lead characters will be so in love with the other one that they force themselves on their love interest, who usually starts enjoying herself halfway through and when it's all over the victim decides that she wanted it after all or that she loves the rapist so much she forgives him—or in this case, her—or something equally cheesy. You see it a lot in yaoi, too, so I guess I shouldn't assume a female victim."

"But that sounds awful!" Saya gasped.

"I don't get it myself," Alice agreed. "And what's weird is, most of the time the target audience for it is female. Not always, but usually."

"I don't understand at all," Saya said. "It sounds horrible. What could possibly be romantic about an abusive relationship?"

"It's a demeaning load of bull," Arrow expressed her opinion a bit more bluntly.

"Now, I admit that sometimes they do try to give some excuse for it. In _Midnight Dreaming 4_, for example, Asuka-chan was under the influence of a love potion that the villain had slipped to her which had the effect of redoubling the desire she felt for Mirei, but it's still crap."

"Sometimes they do it as a lame-ass way to let the sweet, innocent, virginal heroine get laid without ruining her 'purity' and stuff," Arrow noted. "Which is pretty offensive, too. I mean, hell, Himeko-chan here is all sweet and meek and you never see her whining about how icky it would be to sleep with Himemiya."

"Mostly the opposite," Alice agreed with a grin. Himeko blushed bright red at that one.

"Well, I have to agree with you both," Saya decided. "It isn't at all a plot device I like, even if it is fantasy."

The bell rang just then, so if anyone else had anything to say, it got cut off. Arrow and Saya, who had gym next, scrambled away, and Alice followed to give Himeko and Chikane a couple of minutes' privacy in case her friends had mushy romantic things in mind. Himeko calmly reinserted her bookmark and put the manga away.

Chikane watched her, eyes narrowing.

"Did you do that on purpose?"

Himeko smiled at her.

"Just because I _forgave_ you doesn't mean I gave up my right to tease you about it!" she announced, then gave her lover a quick peck on the cheek.


	8. AmeMite:  Too Much for a Father to Bear

_A/N: This omake, like my previous one, takes place in my "Ame no Murakumo no Miteru" setting._

~X X X~

"So the important thing to remember about the Meiji Restoration," Chikane explained, "is that it was neither entirely the result of foreign influences nor internal conflicts. Like so many other important historical events, it was the combination of factors occurring close together in time that led to its success."

Himeko nodded. History was possibly her worst subject. Admittedly, she wasn't all that good in _any_ subject, but history was the worst of them all. Every time they defeated Orochi and remade the world, the answers changed! Like Ieyasu Tokugawa successfully establishing a shogunate and bringing centuries of peace to Japan instead of the hundred-year-long chaos that had ended in the lifetime before when she and Chikane had fallen in love, or that war that had engulfed all of Asia when the Russians had invaded China after World War Two never happening...It was nice and all that the changes were all for the better, without the malice of Orochi, but Himeko could not understand how Chikane could keep it all straight!

"I think I see...the Americans' insistence on opening Japan to the rest of the world was the triggering event that gave popular support and inspiration to the social movement that ended in rebellion?"

"Exactly, just as how—"

"Yeah!" Himeko's younger brother interrupted them with an excited shout. Both girls looked up to see Himeko's father, Kurusugawa Hajime, pump his fist in the air; they'd been studying together in the living room while the Kurusugawa men watched the Marines-Lions baseball game.

"What happened?" Chikane wondered.

"Walk-off home run by Takahashi!" Shiro cheered.

"Oh." Chikane shrugged, then picked up her book again.

"But, this puts us back into first place!" Shiro didn't quite understand Chikane's lack of enthusiasm.

"Shiro, remember that Himemiya-san has lived her whole life in Mahoroba. She's probably a fan of Orix or Hanshin."

"Actually, Kurusugawa-san, I don't really know much about baseball."

Dead silence reigned.

"You...don't follow baseball?"

Chikane shook her head.

"Not really. I only know about it from softball games in gym class."

Hajime stared at her like she'd grown a second head for a long moment, then his gaze narrowed. He drummed his fingers on the arm of the couch.

"Himemiya-san, I think I've been a fairly tolerant man under the circumstances. I haven't objected to the fact that you're a girl, since it appears that that's the way Himeko is and arguing the point will only make things harder on her. I've accepted that you're of a far different social status, despite the obvious problems that makes for Himeko and the ongoing issues I have at work considering that my daughter is dating the heiress of the whole _keiretsu_. These are things I need to accept as a parent because you and Himeko are clearly serious about one another. But this...an ignorance of baseball! You bring shame to the young people of Japan! It's too much to expect me to take!"

Chikane had a look somewhere between "blank" and "shellshocked."

"Luckily, they're broadcasting a doubleheader today. You're going to join us, so you can get a proper appreciation of what's important to being a respectable member of this family!"

Chikane looked helplessly at Himeko, but the blonde just grinned at her.

_Sorry, Chikane-chan_, Himeko thought, _but if I can face sacrifice, death, imprisonment, rape, betrayal, and torment for your sake, then you can face the infield fly rule for mine._


	9. It's True I'm a Ditz, But

Chikane Himemiya glanced at her watch for the third time. It was nearly five-thirty! She reached for her mobile, then stopped herself. She'd tried calling once already, fifteen minutes ago, and it had gone straight to voice mail. If Himeko's phone was on, she'd have gotten the message and called back, so either it was off or she didn't have it with her and either way there was no point in calling again.

It worried her, though. Himeko had been really looking forward to seeing this movie, so the fact that she wasn't there was doubly strange. Chikane didn't really see what was so appealing about the story of a socially withdrawn girl caught between two lovers with supernatural powers who found her attractive despite gaping character flaws that ought—

"Chikane-chan!"

Chikane turned, the sound of Himeko's voice seizing her attention instantly.

"Chikane-chan!" her girlfriend called again, waving. Himeko sprinted up to her. The violet-eyed university sophomore panted for breath, her shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair sticking to her face with sweat. "I'm sorry...I'm late..." Himeko said between gasps.

"I was starting to worry that something had happened to you. You're nearly half an hour late! What took you?"

"I'd nearly gotten to...the bus stop...when I realized I'd forgotten my bus pass. I had to go back to my dorm room for it, then run back to the bus stop, only I'd missed the bus by then and I had to wait for the next one."

Chikane giggled. That was just so Himeko-like!

"I love you," she said, grinning, "but you can be such a ditz sometimes, really."

"Me!" squeaked Himeko.

"Yes, you! It's so cute, like watching a puppy stumble over its feet!"

"Hmph!" Himeko said in (obviously mock) offense, "I seem to recall a few occasions when _you_ weren't exactly quick to pick up on hints."

"Me! Since when have I—?"

"What about the time when I was totally ogling you in the bath?"

"Huh?"

"Or all those times when I wanted to sleep with you 'for comfort's sake'?"

Chikane blinked.

"Or when we made lunches together and I drew a big red heart on yours with shrimp flakes?"

_I'm sensing a theme here,_ Chikane thought.

"And did you think it was just an accident that roll of film with all the lingerie candids Mako-chan took of me somehow found its way into your bag?"

"Er—"

"Or when I took the time to point out to you how wonderful I thought all the girls'-love scenes were in _My Bremen Love_?"

"Well, that's—"

"And seriously, when I think that _finally _I've gotten you to make a move on me in the music room, I swear that you had no idea what my hands were doing the whole time! I was so depressed that I was totally shellshocked all the rest of that night and the next day and a half!"

"I—that is—um—"

Himeko planted her hands on her hips.

"So really, Chikane-chan, I may be clumsy and forgetful, but at least I notice when the girl I love wants me to try something!"

Chikane cupped Himeko's face between her palms and kissed her long and warmly, only breaking it off with considerable regret.

Himeko grinned at her.

"Much better."

Chikane grinned back.

"Hey, I may be a ditz, but I'm learning."

~X X X~

_A/N: Hey, I actually did another one of these set in the anime continuity! Hope that none of you have a weak heart that finds these shocks hard to take... Alternate Character Interpretation is definitely the omake writer's best friend, not that this is actually all that different from how I normally write Himeko. _

_And yes, Himeko is definitely a _Twilight _fan. Over which Makoto and Chikane no doubt tease her endlessly._

~X X X~

"So which one of them do you like for her, anyway?" Chikane asked as they walked out of the theater after the movie.

"Oh, definitely the werewolf. I don't see what's supposed to be so attractive about that kind of stalker-like obsession with a girl, do you?"

Chikane smacked her on the rump.

"You are _so_ going to pay for that one."

Himeko laughed.

"Ooh, you're right. You _are_ learning!"


	10. Kaiawase

"They don't match."

"What?" Himeko squeaked. "But that's impossible!"

"See for yourself," Chikane said, and passed over the two necklaces. Himeko looked at the two pink seashells in her palm, Chikane's on its delicate silver chain and her own on its leather thong. It had been the sight of that seashell around Chikane's throat that had brought the memories back to her, memories of a world that never was where the two of them, Solar and Lunar Priestesses, had bled and wept, fought and killed and died as they had so many times before to save the world from Yamata no Orochi. It was a symbol of the love that joined them beyond time and death and rebirth and which had brought them back together again.

Chikane had used the shell-matching game in that previous existence as a metaphor for love, to reassure Himeko that somewhere out there, there was one special person just for her. Of course, she hadn't said then that she really hoped _she_ was Himeko's special person, but that had come along in due course so all was well. The point was that it was something special between the two of them, like "our song" or "our special place."

Himeko was actually kind of surprised that it had taken five months since their reunion for one of them to think of actually matching their shells. It was a matter of course that they would match, be the one shell in all the world that would fit with the other.

Except that they didn't.

Chikane was right, Himeko realized as she tried it for herself. The shells _didn't_ match. The left side of each shell was slightly outside the right side of the other, and the right sides slightly longer than the left sides.

"But what does this mean?" Himeko protested. "If your shell isn't the match for mine, then why do you have it? How did it bring back my memories of our past?"

"I don't—wait, maybe I do. Can I see the shells again?"

Himeko passed the necklaces back and Chikane set them down on the table side by side. "I thought so. Look at the shells, Himeko."

"I don't understand," the strawberry blonde said.

"They _do_ match—they're _exactly the same_. So of course they wouldn't fit together; their match has the mirror image of all their irregularities."

Himeko tipped her head to one side.

"How can that be?"

Chikane smiled knowingly.

"You left it behind."

"Huh?"

"In the other world. Remember, when we had our duel, I slashed at your neck and cut the cord so it went flying off?"

"Oh! Oh, yes, that was right before—" Himeko choked herself off without finishing _before I killed you_. It wasn't like Chikane blamed her for it, as it was part of the entire process of being miko and granting the world rebirth, and besides Chikane had been all but forcing her to do it, but it still wasn't a nice thing to talk or even think about.

Chikane hurried past that part and on with her explanation.

"Well, you never picked it back up. It was left there within Yamata no Orochi's core. And when Take no Yamikazuchi sealed Orochi, it was left there at the Lunar Shrine. So, Ame no Murakumo was able to give it to me because the shrine exists outside of normal time and space. On the other hand, this shell"—she tapped Himeko's—"was the one you found in _this_ world as a child, the new world I didn't originally exist in. So instead of two halves of one shell, we have two copies of one half of a shell, taken from two separate realities."

Himeko shook her head.

"That's _confusing_, Chikane-chan."

"Did it not make sense?"

"No, I understood you...mostly. It's just really _weird_."

Chikane chuckled.

"I guess so. But then, we're not exactly normal people. Other couples have memories of time spent together, while we have memories of alternate lives together!"

"No wonder I'm so fuzzy-headed sometimes," Himeko realized. "I have two sets of memories for every day up to when I was sixteen and one month!"

"But you're so cute when you're spacing out!"

"Chikane-chan!"

The raven-haired girl giggled.

"Anyway, I think that explains it. The seashells _are_ a significant symbol of what we've endured to reach here and what we mean to each other, but not because of the shell-matching game."

"I see." Himeko gave a sigh of relief. "That's all right, then."

"Uh-huh."

Chikane slid her arm around Himeko and pulled her close. The shorter girl nestled her head gaainst her beloved's shoulder. They sat snuggled like that for a while, just enjoying each other's warmth. Then, the blonde was struck by a thought.

"Hey, Chikane-chan?"

"Yes, Himeko?"

"If our shells are exactly the same, then does that mean that somewhere out there is another shell that matches both of ours?"

"I suppose so."

"Then, if we ever find it some day..."

Chikane flicked the tip of Himeko's nose with a finger.

"No, that doesn't mean we can have a threesome!"

Himeko blushed beet red.

"Chikane-chan! I'm not always thinking about sex!"

"True." Chikane smiled. "You have to sleep sometimes."

"Meanie. But, um...now that you raise the subject..."

She reached for Chikane, but the other girl met her halfway, leaning in so that their bodies pressed together even before Himeko folded her in her arms.

"I guess I'm just full of smart ideas today," Chikane murmured just before their mouths met, wet and open in a ravenous kiss that was just the beginning.

Unlike the seashells, Himeko thought the two of _them_ fitted together just perfectly.

~X X X~

_A/N: In light of a number of my recent omakes where Himeko gets to tease Chikane, I've had a number of requests from reviewers and regular correspondents alike for Chikane to tease Himeko back, so we get that here, combined with a dose of more-sexually-confident-in-her-new-life-Himeko and even a little genuine theorizing about the original anime!_


	11. She's Already Made Her Career Choice

Chikane Himemiya frowned slightly as she looked at her girlfriend. The reincarnated Solar Priestess was the picture of innocence as she sat beneath the spreading limbs of a large tree, her back against the trunk, as she focused intently on her book. Himeko was as beautiful as always, an angelic vision of loveliness to Chikane's eyes. That did not, however, make her perfect.

"Himeko," Chikane said, "shouldn't you be studying?"

"Oh! Chikane-chan; I didn't see you there." Himeko smiled sunnily at her. "Would you like to join me? There's lots of room." She patted the grass beside herself.

The offer was very tempting, Chikane had to admit, but she had her own goals to accomplish.

"I need to study for our tests next week. There's one in math, and another in world history." She paused, then added a bit hesitantly. "You really should be studying as well, instead of reading manga."

Himeko blinked in confusion.

"I _am_ studying," she said.

Chikane did not quite follow the logic.

"I don't understand."

"Well, we know what our future is going to be, don't we? The Orochi will return, and we'll fight it as the Solar and Lunar Priestesses of Ame no Murakumo, right?"

A gust of wind puffed out, making leaves swirl around them and tossing their hair. When it died down, Chikane combed hers back with her fingers, then bent over and gently brushed back several strands from Himeko's face.

"That's right."

"Well, that's why I'm reading all this giant robot manga." She patted the stack next to her. "I want to be as ready as I can for when it's our turn."

Chikane blinked at her.

"Come to think of it, Chikane-chan, you spend an awful lot of your time on extracurricular activities and elective courses. I mean, what's the point of padding your transcript with good grades or being class president when you're not going to get to apply to college anyway?"

"So you're saying that being a slacker is actually you efficiently spending your time preparing for your future?"

"Exactly!" Himeko said brightly.

Chikane gave up and laughed, then sat down next to her beloved.

"You know, you may actually have a point there."

She reached out, catching Himeko's waist with one hand and cupping her face with the other, and then leaned in.

"Chikane-chan, what are you doing?"

"Well, you've been working so hard, I thought it was time for a study break," she purred before her lips closed over Himeko's.


	12. AmeMite:  The Combination To Her Safe

"It's enough to make you hate the student council, huh?" Ohgami Shizuka summed up the last two minutes of Kurusugawa Himeko's talk.

Himeko blushed; she hadn't realized until then that her complaints had devolved into a rant, especially while they were walking through the hall.

"Well...um...maybe not _hate_, but...I know that they're doing important work with the upcoming cultural festival and the budget hearings and the review of the proposed uniform policy—"

"Less overdone and poofy would be nice," Himeko's tomboyish friend remarked.

"—but honestly, it's not fair that they should have to have all these after-hours meetings to settle things. The school administration should be there to support the students, not to dump adult responsibilities onto them."

Arrow (as Shizuka was called by her friends, on account of being the only straight one of the bunch) shrugged at that.

"Seriously, wouldn't you rather trust Himemiya and Nanase with important decisions than the kind of people who run for the school board?"

"Well..." Himeko mused, aware that Arrow had a point.

"Face it; you're just annoyed because Himemiya had to cancel two dates with you on account of the overtime."

Himeko sighed.

"I know. I mean, I sit next to Chikane-chan in class, but I miss getting to spend private time with her."

The girls came to a stop outside the student council room.

"I suppose I shouldn't complain," the blonde continued. "After all, it's really lucky that Chikane-chan and I can openly date."

"Hey, we all measure our own troubles against our ordinary lives, not against some absolute standard. It's only natural you'd feel gripey."

"Wow, that was pretty profound, Arrow-chan!" Himeko was genuinely impressed.

"Hey, y'know, shrine family. It rubs off a little, here and there."

A moment later, the door opened, and students began to file out, boys in viridian and gold and girls in burgundy, white, and black, a parade of color. Himeko, though, had eyes for only one in the crowd, the raven-haired, sapphire-eyed beauty she'd shared so many lifetimes with, Himemiya Chikane. As always, just seeing her again after a couple of hours' separation made her heart skip a beat and her mouth go dry. The smile that instantly took shape on Chikane's lips told Himeko that her beloved felt the same.

"Himeko, I hope you haven't been waiting long?"

"Oh, no, we just got here."

"Ah, I'm glad." They stood so close that if either one moved, they'd be touching.

"Is your meeting over?"

Chikane frowned.

"I'm afraid not. We're just taking a ten-minute break so people can use the bathroom and stop by the vending machines for a drink. It's going to be another long one; could you tell Oomori-san that she should take charge of kendo practice today?"

"All right, Chikane-chan."

"I'm really sorry about this, Himeko. You know that I'd quit my position right now if you asked."

Himeko knew it was the literal truth; the intensity of Chikane's feelings was kind of scary sometimes, but at the same time it matched Himeko's own. Sharing multiple reincarnated lives together had reinforced the love between them to the point where it was much more important than the details of any one individual lifetime.

"I know, but I wouldn't ask that."

"Yes, but it's still frustrating that I have to make _you_ wait for something less important to me. And I miss you, too."

A devilish idea came to Himeko, then, and she decided to act on it before her timid (or sane) side stifled it. She leaned towards Chikane and whispered in her ear.

"Should I give you something to help tide you over, then, Chikane-chan?"

Himeko pivoted slightly so that her left hip pressed between Chikane's thighs. Her left hand caught the taller girl's waist to steady her, while her right hand slid down Chikane's back to find the spot along her spine just—ah! There! Himeko then let her teeth close over Chikane's earlobe, rolling it between them for a second or two.

Chikane gasped sharply, then bit her lip to stifle a cry. Himeko suddenly found herself supporting Chikane's weight as the student council president's knees buckled; they'd have fallen over in a heap if Himeko hadn't been expecting it.

"Well, you need to get back to your meeting and Arrow-chan and I have to get to our clubs, so...call me tonight, will you, Chikane-chan?"

"Uh-huh," murmured the breathless and wobbly Chikane.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Himeko."

Arrow gave Himeko an incredulous look as the girls left the council room behind.

"Did you—? Did Himemiya just—?"

Himeko giggled. _Three lifetimes in which we were lovers, plus _centuries_ spent locked in the Lunar Shrine together between lives...Chikane-chan and I do know what each other likes by now!_

~X X X~

_A/N: The idea for this story came from an offhanded comment I made in a PM with my friend Fuyu no Sora. She immediately replied, "you should write that omake!" and so...well, I did. The title comes from a Jeff Foxworthy sketch where he's talking about the benefits of sex with someone you've been married to for a while, and seemed appropriate._


	13. The Play's the Thing

"She belongs to me! I will never let you have her!" Chikane shouted, lunging at Souma. The boy barely got his sword up in time to block her thrust, steel ringing off steel.

"Never! I will not abandon my love to you, you fiend!" Souma cried, and fought back desperately.

"You cannot have her, whelp! Your love is no match for the strength of my desires!" Chikane launched a furious series of attacks that drove Souma back two steps, making him drop to one knee as his footing slipped.

Himeko could only struggle helplessly against her ropes as she watched them fight. In the white breeches, blue jacket, and gold braid of his naval officer's uniform, Souma was the very picture of a hero, while Chikane brazenly contrasted him in her snug-fitting black pantaloons and scarlet shirt, looking every inch the pirate queen. On the one hand was honor and purity of purpose, on the other the temptations of forbidden desires and freedom from rigid morality.

It was heady stuff for an innocent maiden. She bit her lip nervously as Chikane reared back to deliver an overhand blow that would finish the fight.

At the last second, Souma rolled aside and sprang to his feet. He lunged, and Chikane was barely able to parry. As if his narrow escape had renewed his strength and will, he now drove her before him, until at last he struck the cutlass from her hand and pressed the tip of his sword to her throat.

"Yield now and I shall let you flee, so that my love shall not have to witness blood being spilled."

There was a long, frozen moment when the seconds seemed to crawl by, until at last Chikane's head dropped.

"I surrender. I cannot deny the strength of your feelings for her."

"Then go now, and trouble her no more!"

She fled, while Souma strode to Himeko's side. With one sweep of his sword he severed the ropes and she sprang into his arms.

"Oh, my darling, you saved me!"

"I was a fool to have nearly lost you. Had I spoken up when I had the chance, you would never have been in danger. But I don't care if I am only a humble sailor and you the daughter of a duke—I love you with all my heart, and I would pledge my every waking moment to your happiness if you would have me."

"Of course I shall, for now and ever after!" Himeko exclaimed.

In the next moment they were kissing, and the curtain rang down to the thunderous applause of the audience of students and festival guests who'd gathered to watch the play. The other cast members scurried up on stage, and the curtain rose again so they could take their bows, Himeko in the center, with Souma and Chikane on either side of her and the rest of the players beyond them. At last, after the audience had had sufficient time to express their enthusiasm, the curtain descended for the last time.

"All right, great work, everyone!" Makoto Saotome walked in from the wings, clapping her hands. "Remember, we've got the encore performance tonight at seven-thirty, but for now let's get out of these costumes so you can all have a chance to enjoy the festival." She was really getting into her director's role; ever since breaking her leg the year before had forced her to find something other than track to do while she rehabbed, she'd really found her niche in the drama club.

The various cast members turned to head off to the changing area, but Chikane caught Himeko by the wrist as the blonde started to leave the stage.

"Himeko—"

"Yes, Chikane-chan?"

"I...I'd like to talk to you for a minute." She seemed nervous, which was out of character for the campus queen.

"Of course, Chikane-chan. What is it?"

"Well...I...Doing the play with you...and Ohgami-kun's lines there at the end..." She swallowed nervously. "I don't want to be a coward who loses because she won't even take a chance."

"A coward? But you could never be that," Himeko assured her.

"Couldn't I?" She smiled sheepishly, almost bitterly, then took a deep breath. "Himeko, I've been exactly that for these past three years. I...I fell for you the moment you came chasing that puppy through the hedge. You were so cute, and so earnest, and so innocent, that I couldn't resist. I had to get to know you better, so I made excuses to see you, became your friend, and all the while I was falling deeper and deeper in love the more I got to know you."

Her fists were clenched at her sides and her eyes closed, her head turned away.

"I know these feelings are selfish and shameful, Himeko, but I had to find the courage to tell you. I love you; I love you so much it hurts. Last year when you were dating Souma I cried myself to sleep, and even though I told myself I wanted nothing but for you to be happy I cheered when you broke up after a month because that was a lie: I didn't want you to be happy, I wanted you to be happy _with me_."

The drawn-up tension in her body seemed to evaporate. Her hands unclenched, her head sagged.

"You probably hate me now, but...at least I'm not lying to you any more."

She might have had more to say, but she found her mouth too occupied with Himeko's lips to be able to respond.

"Chikane-chan!" _Kiss_. "I'm so—" _Kiss._ "—happy to—" _Kiss._ "—hear you—" _Kiss. _ "—say that!" _Kiss._ "I just never believed—" _Kiss._ "—I had a chance—" _Kiss._ "—with someone so—" _Kiss._ "—amazing!"

Watching from the wings, Makoto brushed imaginary dust from her hands.

"Well, that's that," she said, smugly self-satisfied.

"I still can't believe you chose the festival play and cast the leads just to get Himemiya-san to confess," Souma marveled.

"Hey, a girl's got to help her best friend, right? And with Himeko so aware of how out of her league Miya-sama is, and Miya-sama doing the gayngst thing and no doubt the 'I don't want to sully my perfect angel with my dirty feelings' routine, they _needed_ a kick in the butt."

Souma chuckled.

"Well, it certainly worked," he said.

"What can I say? I'm awesome."

Souma slipped his arm around her.

"That you are, and if we can get to the newspaper club's cafe before they run out of ice cream I'll treat you to a parfait in congratulations."

"Why would they run out? It's not a hot day."

"True, but we're liable to be late. Himeko's getting _her_ girlfriend to get the taste of kissing her ex off her lips, and I think I should get the same privilege."

"Well, when you put it like _that_..." Makoto said, grinning, "I guess I can always collect that parfait some other day."


	14. AmeMite:  We're All a Bit Vain Sometimes

Himemiya Chikane looked curiously at the screen of her mobile phone. It wasn't that she actually needed to see the message from Kurusugawa Himeko again; the words were short and easily comprehensible. She just didn't understand _why_ her girlfriend wanted her to do what she'd asked.

_Chikane-chan, could you pick me up at Cafe Milano at 4:15 and please be at your most princessy?_

She had a pretty good idea what Himeko meant by "princessy"; it was second nature for Chikane to play up being the heiress of the absurdly wealthy, thousand-year-old Himemiya family. Usually, though, Himeko didn't like it when Chikane did that. The lifetimes they'd shared together had taught Himeko that "Miya-sama" was a pose, a veneer Chikane used to push away human contact. Himeko always liked to draw out "Chikane-chan" instead, to encourage Chikane to relax and share her genuine feelings. She'd been elated when they'd met again in this life and she'd found that Chikane had a group of close, true friends she was willing to let down her guard with.

So why the request?

Still, it was easy to comply with.

It was 4:14 when Matsuzaka, the Himemiya family chauffeur, steered the vintage Bentley limousine into a parking space directly in front of the cafe. Despite its fancy name, it was actually a sweet-shop popular with the girls in town, specializing in pastries, coffee, and Italian ices. The Bentley was Matsuzaka's baby; while he efficiently drove Chikane's parents in the more modern limousines and luxury sedans they used in the ordinary course of living, he exulted in any excuse to drive the fifty-year-old luxury piece. When Chikane had requested it—_if Himeko wants "princessy," that's what she'll get!_—she'd seen the thrill of happiness in his eyes at once.

While she waited for Matsuzaka to come around and open the door, she scanned the streetside tables out in front of the cafe. On a sunny spring afternoon, many people had chosen to sit outside, and _her_ sun was among them: a cute girl wearing a simple white sundress with a silver ribbon in her reddish-blonde hair. As always, Chikane's heart melted upon seeing Himeko again, and her breath seemed to catch in her throat.

But who was the other girl, the one at Himeko's table, with the short brown hair, that Himeko was talking so animatedly with?

~X X X~

"So then Kana-chin tripped over the hose and when she hit the ground her bag opened and about six volumes of whatever yaoi pornfest she's reading now spilled out. So Abe, being Abe, goes off on how shameful it is to have such interests and how being a _fujoshi_ would shame Kana-chin's family, and so on...and then Hajime-kun just up and slapped Abe right across the face! Then he started chewing her out about how Kana-chin was a good person and only a shallow, ignorant loser would judge someone based on their hobbies."

"That's so sweet!" Himeko said.

"Then he helped her pick up her books and things and left Kana-chin all starry-eyed for the rest of the day. So after school she met him at his shoe locker and confessed to him, and now they're dating. It's like one of those 'I've got a _fujoshi_ girlfriend!' manga, except she hasn't tried shipping Hajime-kun with any of his friends yet. So you're not the only one who's had some luck in love—hey, whoa, check that out!"

The brunette was reacting to the Bentley limousine that had glided into place right in front of the cafe like something out of Hollywood or foreign royalty. The uniformed chauffeur came around and opened the door, then assisted his passenger out. Chikane, Himeko saw, had that fixed expression of gentle serenity on her face, and was wearing a sapphire-blue dress with a knee-length skirt and trailing black sash that must have been a designer original that cost a small fortune.

A waitress hastened forward at once, recognizing Chikane and assuming the car and her manner meant Serious Business.

"Himemiya-_ojousama_, it is an honor to have you here. May I find you a table?"

"No, thank you, as I will be joining Kurusugawa-san; however, if you would be so kind as to bring me an iced lemonade?"

"At once, _ojousama_!"

Chikane walked in stately fashion between the cafe tables. Even though the people of Mahoroba all knew her fairly well, she still seemed to be exuding a magnetism that caused heads to turn and eyes to follow her path. One young man passing by even added a comic touch by walking head-on into a light pole and nearly falling over, he was so busy watching her.

The brunette grabbed Himeko's arm.

"Himecchi, she's coming towards _us_!" she exclaimed.

In another moment, Chikane arrived at the girls' table.

"Good afternoon, Himeko," she said, using a ladylike _gokigenyou_. "Would you introduce me to your friend?"

The seated girls rose.

"Of course. Chikane-chan, this is Matsuri Hana-chan, one of my friends from when I lived in Chiba. Her family is taking a weekend trip in the area, so she came up to Mahoroba to see me. Hana-chan, this is Himemiya Chikane-chan..."

"It's a pleasure to make the acquaintance of one of Himeko's friends," Chikane said.

"I'm honored to meet you, Himemiya-san," Hana babbled, actually stunned into bowing deeply over Chikane's hand.

"...my girlfriend," Himeko finished up, then burst into giggles.

Hana's eyes went wide as saucers and her jaw sagged open. Her head swiveled back and forth between Himeko and Chikane (who was now grinning, understanding Himeko's message at last). "She's...you...you mean...her and..." she babbled, the summed it up with, "Holy frag, Himecchi."

"You should see your face, Hana-chan!" Himeko choked out amongst the laughter.

"So this is why you wanted me to play up the whole 'Himemiya princess' display?" Chikane asked, also chuckling.

"Mmn! I just couldn't resist showing you off!" She leaned up and gave Chikane a quick peck on the lips. "Um, I know we'd planned to go to karaoke tonight with Arisu-chan, Arrow-chan, and Saya-chan, but since she can only be in Mahoroba for one day, can Hana-chan come too?"

"Of course. The more the merrier, with a karaoke party."

"Oh, excellent," Hana said, rubbing her hands together and grinning evilly. "I admit, you got me good, Himecchi, but when my turn comes to pick your song, my revenge will be complete."

"Hmmm, perhaps we should compare notes, Matsuri-san?" Chikane said, smiling. "Did you know that the karaoke club has costumes?"

"Oh, really?"

"You guys!" Himeko wailed, but her smile completely gave her away.

~X X X~

_Guide to Gratuitous Japanese:_

_-chin: No, that's not a typo, just a cutesy version of the more common "-chan."_

_fujoshi: Literally "rotten girl," meaning a female otaku, especially one who's into yaoi/BL (this was the original meaning exclusively, but now has been extended to include a broader spectrum of otaku, not just BL fans)._


	15. Because I Used the Excuse Last Life?

_A/N: This story takes place in the "Ame no Murakumo ga Miteru" setting; it's just that I couldn't fit the "AmeMite" in the chapter title because of the 40-character limit._

~X X X~

Kurusugawa Himeko generally liked school. She wasn't very good at it, but she enjoyed it. Hanging out with friends (including her girlfriend Chikane, who had the next seat in class), participating in clubs, learning new things, there was always something good about school. Except for one part.

Gym class.

Himeko was a Sword Priestess of Ame no Murakumo. With a katana in her hands she would be the envy of a master swordsman, which was why Chikane had gotten her to join the kendo team. But that was because of the accumulated knowledge of many lifetimes' worth of fighting the demonic forces of Orochi. It was not because of any great athletic fitness. Himeko was generally the kind of girl who got picked last for teams and tripped over footprints.

Today, though, she had another excuse for dreading gym class. Usually, she had to get out of the locker room to make a fool of herself, but today...

Himeko sighed. If she could endure centuries sealed alone in a shrine on the moon, she could endure this. She unbuttoned her uniform and stepped out of her shirt and dress.

"Waa! Look at Kurusugawa-san!"

"How shameless!"

"I can't believe it!"

"How could she embarrass Miya-sama like that?"

"But...doesn't that mean Miya-sama was the one who—?"

"Oooh, I'm so jealous!"

"It's completely lewd!"

The object of her classmates' squealing and gossiping was the fact that Himeko's exposed skin—back, belly, thighs, arms, neck, the upper slopes of her breasts—was speckled with bright red marks not unlike a hickey or love-bite. And since virtually everyone in school knew that she and Chikane were dating, it was immediately assumed that the class idol had been the one to put the marks there.

"It's not what you think!" Himeko cried, waving her hands. "I'm just allergic to cranberries, that's all! It makes my skin break out awfully!"

"Oh, come on!"

"You expect us to believe that?"

"It's true, honestly!"

The other girls were crowding around her now.

"You know," one of them said, "she might be telling the truth. Those marks look swollen, like hives. Hickeys are red like that, but they don't swell up."

"Showing off 'cause you have a boyfriend, eh, Meiko-chan?" Alice Ishida said, nudging the girl who defended Himeko with her elbow.

"You're Kurusugawa-chan's friend. Shouldn't you be sticking up for her, too?"

"Yeah, but I'm Miya's best friend, too. I don't want to imply that she hasn't got game!"

Himeko nailed Alice in the face with her gym shirt.

~X X X~

"Oi! Himemiya!"

Himemiya Chikane stopped and turned at the voice of her friend Arrow. The dark-haired Ohgami girl dashed up to her and fell in step as Chikane started walking down the hall again.

"What is it?"

"Could you lend me some lip gloss? I left mine at home and my lips are really dry."

"Oh, sure." Chikane reached into her bag, got out a small tin, and flipped it to Arrow.

"Thanks."

"You can keep it."

"Really?"

"Mm-hm. Himeko didn't like it very much."

"Well, that's a good reason to change." Arrow glanced at the tin. "She doesn't like cranberry-tasting lips?"

Chikane smiled mysteriously.

"Well, something like that."


	16. The Morning-After Blues

_A/N: This could be set in an AU, or it might be a few years after the end of the anime. Either works, so you can decide for yourself how you want to think about it! ^_^_

~X X X~

"—Miya."

A soft groan was the response. This was considered an improvement over the buzzsaw snoring that had previously been emitted from the bed.

"Himemiya."

"Don' wanna," was barely audible, mumbled into the pillow.

"Hi! Me! Mi! Ya!" This was accompanied by vigorous shaking.

"All right, I'm up," Chikane Himemiya groaned. She started to push herself up, until her head started to spin. She was about to let herself drop back to the pillow, but then her stomach chose to voice its opinion. One hand clapped over her mouth, she rolled over, nearly falling out of bed, and lurched across the floor, legs wobbling like a just-born baby giraffe's. Showing off the iron willpower and fierce self-control that had made "Miya-sama" a standout at school, sports, and at her job, she managed to get to the toilet before spewing forth the contents of her digestive system.

"What hit me?" she moaned, then found herself unable to expand on the remark when her stomach let fly with round two.

"Well, at least we can rule out morning sickness, unless there's something about Kurusugawa you're not telling me," Satomi Haneda joked. She'd been Chikane's roommate all through college and into adult life. Apparently showing no ill effects, she leaned insouciantly against the doorjamb, her tall, rangy figure clad in snug-fitting jeans and a pink T-shirt with a rainbow stretching across the front. With her short-cut hair and handsome features, she looked like a Takurazuka star, the one who would be cast to play the male lead—which was in fact her job.

Chikane's only answer to her wisecrack was a wet gurgle.

"But since you're not knocked up, I'm forced to conclude that you were completely pickled last night."

Another wet, gurgling noise followed.

"Hammered."

A pained groan.

"Smashed."

A louder groan with a weird choking sound suggested that Chikane had started in on her stomach lining.

"Blotto."

"I get the idea," Chikane moaned.

"Yes, our incomparable Miya-sama, jewel of the university, rising star of her department at work, ladylike elegance personified, got totally stinking drunk at her own bachelorette party," Haneda ruthlessly summed up.

"I seem to recall my so-called friends keeping shots in front of me."

"Is or is not wanton debauchery the point of your next-to-last night as a free woman?"

"...I'm sure there's a problem with that logic, but I'm too hung over to think of it."

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one."

"I count only one of us currently hunched over the toilet, and one of us making sassy remarks."

Haneda shrugged.

"I'm a morning person. I've had two hours for the pills to take the headache down from agonizing to merely painful. And I'm a smartass 24/7, regardless of how I feel."

"Let the record show you're the one who said that." Chikane pushed herself upright, as it seemed her stomach was done avenging the abuse she'd heaped on it the previous night. "God, what happened? It's all a blur of very strange images. I remember you'd gotten us a private room at the Obsidian Den, and a bunch of our friends..."

"Yep."

"And a lot of alcohol."

"Sake, champagne, or Scotch, depending on your preference."

"I remember toasts...sort of."

"Yep."

"Then...did someone bring in a..." She let her voice trail off as memories came back. "Haneda, how did you get Himeko to jump out of the cake?"

Haneda grinned.

"I played on her sympathy and kindness."

"Sense is something you are currently not making."

"Well, let's face it, you'd cut off your hand rather than touch someone not Kurusugawa with it, right?"

"Yes." The joking, sarcastic time was gone at once.

"Exactly. So I told her, 'here's poor Himemiya, the guest of honor among eighteen drunk and horny girls at a high-class sex club, and she'd be the only one not having any fun.' She agreed that that wasn't fair at all and agreed to show up for your sake." Haneda paused, then added, "I'd say she's too sweet and innocent for words, but I saw what she did to you when she borrowed that stripper's—"

"Please stop there." Chikane was surprised to find herself blushing.

"You're no fun."

The doorbell rang, interrupting any further teasing.

"Come in!" Haneda yelled, making Chikane scramble for a bathrobe.

"Good morning!" a high, chirpy voice called.

"Himeko!"

"Hey, Kurusugawa. We were just talking about you."

Himeko Kurusugawa stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind her. She was a short, cute girl with shoulder-length strawberry-blonde hair, dressed in a white blouse and knee-length red skirt.

"Oh? What were you saying?"

"I was just trying to remember if I was so plotzed I was hallucinating or if it was really possible to use a—"

"Haneda!" Chikane yelped, then both of them winced at the effect of her raised voice on their dual headache.

"Ah, that's okay. I'll just borrow the video from Suzuki. She said she's going to give you a copy for a wedding present."

Himeko's cheeks were flaming.

"Haneda!" Chikane's yelp was even louder than the last one.

"Ouch! Okay, I'll promise I'll drop it, just stop _yelling_." She glanced at Himeko. "Hey, Kurusugawa, howcome you're not complaining about the noise? You put away as much as Himemiya did."

"Oh...um...well, actually, I've never had a hangover. I have a really high tolerance for alcohol. When Mako-chan spiked my drinks on my eighteenth birthday, I ended up having to carry _her_ home." She pushed her fingertips together in a nervous little gesture.

"So you pretty much remember the whole party, don't you?"

"...Yes."

Haneda smirked.

"Well, there you go. You can tell Himemiya all the stuff you did, so _she_ can try them out on _you_ at _your_ party tonight."

"Actually, my bachelorette party was the night before last."

Haneda grinned wolfishly.

"Even better." She crossed the room and grabbed her white leather duster off the coatrack. "Since you're not supposed to see the bride the day of the wedding, I'll be back at 11:50 tonight to kick you out. I figure you two can find a way to fill the fourteen hours until then."

Himeko's blush went from "tomato" to "fire engine."

"Geez, you always say such embarrassing things so easily, Haneda-san!"

"True. But I don't hear you contradicting me."

The blonde smiled shyly.

"I said you were embarrassing, not wrong."

~X X X~

_A/N: Haneda's fantasies aside, I have a feeling the first seven or so of those fourteen hours are going to be spent serving as a lap pillow while Chikane sleeps it off..._

_The "Obsidian Den" is a shout-out to StarvingLunatic's _My-HiME_ fic, "Cry Wolf," which you can find conveniently located in my favorite stories. I figure any club where Shizuru Fujino is the manager is inevitably a perfect place for Chikane's friends to throw her a party she would have never been able to forget had they slowed down the drinks! Satomi is probably the same OC as in "Chocolate Promises," though I changed her last name slightly here and this story isn't necessarily set in the same AU; as my _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha_ readers know, I like to reuse good OCs across story continuities._


	17. Maybe Her Halo Could Use Some Polish

_A/N: This one takes place in the same narrative setting (possibly post-anime, possibly AU) as "Sometimes Courage Needs a Hand" and "The Morning After Blues."_

~X X X~

The psychologist's couch was largely an artifact of the popular mind, once quite common but already being abandoned even before it started to be cemented in movies, books, and comics as the expected method for patient and therapist to interact. Very few psychologists in the modern era found it to create a useful dynamic.

However, the wise counselor also knew when to adopt a technique to produce the best results for the individual. "One size fits all" was the exact opposite of any sound psychological practice. Chikane Himemiya found the couch very useful; she could lay back on it without the forced intimacy of eye contact or even having the doctor in sight, creating the illusion that she was talking to herself even though of course she was responding to the statements and questions of her therapist. It was embarrassing—and to her mind, humiliating—enough that she was there at all.

But, the dark-haired college student thought, this was for Himeko's sake. That made her swallow her pride and walk into the office of Dr. Mari Takeyama, specialist in relationship counseling.

"She's an absolute angel," Chikane said. "She's sweet, pure, and innocent, more so than anyone I've ever met."

"I've heard you describe her that way several times," Dr. Takeyama remarked. "You always use words like 'pure' or something similar. I would think this would make matters somewhat difficult, sexually."

"Oh. No, we do have an...an active..." She found herself blushing ferociously. She wasn't lying; ever since they had started dating a year ago, a few months after running into one another at a crosswalk, Himeko hadn't shown any particular hesitation in physical intimacy. "She was a virgin, of course, so she was a little unsure of herself at first, but she never hesitated or held back."

Chikane could remember how _she'd_ been the reluctant one, the embarrassed one, the morning after their first time together. Himeko, on the other hand, had whistled cheerfully while accidentally burning the eggs in an attempt to make breakfast.

_"You're...you're not sorry that you...?"_

_"No," _she'd answered simply,_ "Chikane-chan is the one I wanted to do such things with."_

"Yes," Dr. Takeyama said, "you told me before that Kurusugawa-san is the one who usually initiates your lovemaking. And, of course, you're here _because_ of how your love life is making you feel."

Chikane sighed.

"I know. And...you're right. I feel guilty when I make advances on her, like I'm...using her..."

"But you know that isn't true. That is, you know that Kurusugawa-san is a normal, sexually interested woman."

Chikane winced.

"Normal," she murmured sourly.

"You dislike the term? Is it because you feel that it reduces Kurusugawa-san from how you see her?"

"I..."

"Or because you feel that _your_ desires are _not_ normal."

_Direct hit_. An arrow striking home in the exact center of the target. Dr. Takeyama hadn't even phrased it as a question.

"Is it because you're a lesbian?"

"I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with that," Chikane admitted. "Facing up to it was hard, and even after that, I had a lot of trouble in accepting that someone..." She broke off and started again. "After I met Himeko, we became friends very quickly. I suppose you might call it love at first sight. But the more aware of her as a woman I became, the more nervous it made me, and the more terrified I was that she would hate me if I made advances. It was silly, I know, especially since my roommate is, well...she's not just gay, but also very, very out. And Himeko was never uncomfortable around her or gave any sign of being offended. But I still worked myself up into a frenzy, and ran off while we were on a group outing." She found herself smiling. "Then Himeko came after me and asked me out, thereby proving what a fool I was."

"I see. Well, that certainly fits with the pattern. Still, I can't help but think there's more to this than fears about your sexuality."

"Oh? Why is that?" the patient questioned the counselor.

"You told me that story more easily than nearly anything you've said since your first session. Now, I would like to think that it has to do with building trust and you starting to open up, but frankly, Himemiya-san, I have no belief in that. Rather, I think you tell the story, hesitating only because you dislike admitting your own moments of foolishness, because you have accepted it. You are comfortable with the fact that your girlfriend feels romantic and sexual attraction to women. It's something else that bothers you."

And of course, she was right.

Chikane clenched her fists.

"I have...fantasies..."

"That is perfectly normal."

"You don't understand. These are...they're vile."

"That is not uncommon, either. Many people construct fantasy scenarios that if brought into real life, would break any number of taboos—"

"That's not it!"

Silence reigned for a few moments. Chikane's hands were clenched so tightly that her nails were digging into the palms.

"Then, please explain it to me."

Silence again.

"I fantasize about Himeko. About...about _doing_ things to her. I don't think about making love to her; I...I want to _violate_ her, _defile_ her. It's not enough just to touch her, kiss her, caress her, to use my hands and mouth to pleasure her. Sometimes I think about tying her up and doing whatever I want to her body. Or I'll think about spanking her. Or using..._things_ on her, toys sometimes, other times just things from around the house. I want...I want to do things that a sweet girl like her has never imagined, force them on her over and over until she enjoys them, to...somehow brand her as mine by being the one who made her into the kind of person who wants and needs the most perverted—"

She was cut off by the sound of giggling. At once Chikane snapped upright and whirled towards Dr. Takeyama's chair. Except she was missing. In her place was a twenty-year-old strawberry blonde with wide violet eyes and a flaming red face.

"Himeko!"

"Um, hi, Chikane-chan."

"What...what are you _doing—_?" Fear clawed at Chikane's throat.

Himeko pushed her fingers together in a nervous little gesture.

"Dr. Takeyama thought it was important for me to hear what you've been holding back, since it was about me, so she had me come in."

"You were here for...all that?" She was shaking now.

Himeko nodded, then looked at Chikane searchingly.

"Did you really think I would be offended by those fantasies?"

Chikane hugged herself tightly.

"How could you not be? To be objectified, reduced to something to vent my carnal lust on..."

Himeko touched her fingertip to her bottom lip.

"Is that it? I didn't think of it that way, since it was you. Um...I'm sorry I laughed, though. I do think you're being silly, but it was a little mean to laugh." Her blush, somehow, grew even more red, or maybe it was just that something about her posture shifted to add to her look of embarrassment. "I'm...um...not really thinking clearly after listening to that..."

It took a couple of seconds for her meaning to dawn on Chikane, and a couple more for her to get past the point of wide-eyed staring.

"Himeko, are you saying that hearing all that _excited_ you?"

Himeko nodded mutely. Chikane just stared again, trying to wrap her mind around the concept that the sexual desires she'd been afraid would make Himeko run away in horror were having the completely opposite effect.

She really needed to stop doing that. Just because Himeko was shy and sweet and gentle and trusting didn't mean that she was any less of a woman.

"I mean...I can't say that I'd want that kind of thing every day, but I'd like to try out some of them. And...um...Chikane-chan?"

"Yes?"

In a very small voice, Himeko added, "I'd like to try doing some of those things _to_ you, too, like..." Apparently unable to actually say it in a speaking voice, she leaned forward and whispered a rather graphic, explicit, and specific suggestion in Chikane's ear. Standing just outside the door, Dr. Takeyama had no idea what had actually been said. But from the look it provoked on her patient's face, she decided that her next step as a relationship therapist was to step away, turn around, and take her lunch break.

A very long lunch break, if her conversations with Himeko were anything to go by!


	18. More Than a Man Can Bear

"Rrrargh! That stupid Lunar Boob! Why did she have to interfere? I was going to have a nice date with my Hime-chan!"

Raging in frustration, Girochi pounded his fist against the top of the _torii_ he occupied as the Third Neck of Yamata no Orochi, the blow causing thunder to echo throughout the Shrine of Eight Gates. Surprise at the sound caused Corona's hand to jerk involuntarily, smearing her lipstick.

"Damn it! What's that dumb musclehead's problem anyway?" the Fourth Neck swore, trying to wipe off the smudge. She might be an avatar of the God of Destruction, but it took _work_ for a girl to fix her face properly! "I thought it was Seventh that kicked his ass; the Lunar Priestess mostly just hung around and got in the way."

"Bro code," Reiko Ota answered Corona's question, though as usual the Fifth Neck's response was terse to the point of incomprehensibility.

"You wanna say that in Japanese, O Great Manga Artist?"

Reiko sighed and set down her pen.

"Two men fighting over a woman is normal to him, therefore it matters little. He will simply crush Seventh next time, or so he believes. What galls and frustrates him is the interference of a large-breasted woman in his pleasures."

She gave a pointed glance towards the Second Neck's prayer gate. Sister Miyako's _torii_ was currently unoccupied, but the shadow of Girochi's older sister hung over the shrine at all times. It was small wonder he had a phobia of well-developed girls!

"I wonder what his problem is, anyway," Corona mused.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Nah, not that. I mean, why is it that he's an Orochi? We've all got our reasons—some better than others," she added, since Reiko's "I'm trapped by the success of my own manga series" didn't sell too well with the other Orochi compared to, say, Nekoko's "used as a test subject for unethical scientific experiments since pre-kindergarten age then thrown out into the street when done."

"I thought that he was an orphan from somewhere in Southeast Asia, his home, his family, his entire village destroyed by war."

"Yeah, but...I dunno, he's the kind of guy who'd want to smash the ones who did it, not get all weepy and depressed over violence and think the whole world needed to go."

"Hmm..." Reiko mused. She must have been intrigued by the point, Corona figured, or else she'd never have passed up the chance to shoot back with a sarcastic comment at a softball lead-in like "weepy and depressed."

"See, I've got a point, right?"

"Perhaps," Reiko mused, staring curiously at the raging Third Neck, who continued to vent his fury at the Lunar Priestess.

_He can remember the day, seared into his brain like it was branded there, branded by an iron heated in the fires of Hell. His hand fumbling for the door-handle as the clangor of blades, the roar of explosions, the screams of women fill the darkened room. Escape! Get away! Escape! The thoughts hammer his brain, consume him utterly. Girochi gives no thought to the others around him, the press of bodies pinning him at this side of the room. All he can think of is the need to get out._

_There!_

_The handle! The utility door! He can slip out this side exit! He can get away! He can—_

_No._

_Locked._

_Locked!_

_The door is locked, no doubt to keep anyone from slipping in without being a member. The fire exit is on the far side of the room. There is no. Way. Out!_

_Terror being replaced by numbed resignation, he turns to face his fate. Unmanly tears of despair that he will never admit to shedding begin to slip from his eyes._

_What kind of world could produce such madness? Only one where hope was a cosmic joke, decency and goodness nothing but delusions the masses used to trick themselves so they can sleep at night. _Aneki is right! _Girochi tells himself. _It should all be destroyed! Cleansed forever! There is no point in a universe that can subject a man to his anime club's marathon screening of both seasons of _Queen's Blade_!


	19. We're Still Getting Our Signals Crossed

_A/N: As you'll probably guess somewhere in the third paragraph, this takes place in the same maybe-AU, maybe-anime-continuation continuity as "Sometimes Courage Needs a Hand" and several recent "Omake of the Godless Month" entries. Specifically, it takes place after "Courage" but before "Maybe Her Halo Could Use Some Polish."_

_I dedicated my last _Kannazuki no Miko_ fic to one of my close friends who was deeply responsible for its creation. In that spirit, this one is most definitely dedicated to my wife! ^_-_

~X X X~

Himeko Kurusugawa was not a happy woman as she looked in the full-length mirror.

"I don't _look_ like a porcelain doll, do I?"

The college student stared at her image. She saw a pretty girl of twenty, with shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair, a peaches-and-cream complexion, and wide, striking violet eyes. Okay, so her heart-shaped face and those eyes did look more "cute" than "sultry and beautiful"; that was a valid point. And her figure...she wasn't quite as flat as she'd been in high school, but she wasn't very tall and she wasn't a "pocket Venus" like her equally short friend Makoto. But she didn't look like a little girl or anything; she was very obviously a woman.

Not that she seemed to be able to convince her girlfriend of that.

Chikane Himemiya (who was very, very definitely a woman) insisted on treating Himeko like she was something fragile and delicate. It had taken a month of dating to even get Chikane into bed. Now, okay, it _had_ been the first time for _both_ of them, so Himeko could understand why Chikane wanted to be absolutely sure about that, particularly since she seemed to have had a lot of nervousness about being a lesbian and that gay sex was somehow dirtier than heterosexual sex. But they'd been sleeping together for six weeks now, and Chikane still insisted on being incredibly gentle and hesitant with her lover.

"It's the white knight syndrome," Mako-chan had advised her when Himeko was reduced to complaining about sexual frustration with her best friend. "Souma had the same problem."

"Huh?" had been Himeko's brilliant response.

"The prince type—or princess, in Chikane's case—sees their love interest as someone to protect, to defend against all the evils and unpleasantness of the world. They put us up on a pedestal and drive off any dragons who come near. But the problem is, you don't want to have hot, sweaty, sticky, messy sex with an ideal. So Souma kept being all nice and sweet and courteous and gentle with me no matter how much he was getting all hot, because he couldn't tell that sometimes what I wanted was for him to really put it to me and nail my ass to the mattress."

"You're still together, though, so you must have convinced him somehow."

Makoto had nodded and taken another swig of her beer.

"Hahhhh," she'd exhaled deeply. "Yeah, that. Well, when you get right down to it, the only way to get through to people like that is by direct evidence. Speaking of which, you're sure that she actually _is_ shy, right? I mean, the problem isn't that she just doesn't much like sex? Some people are weird that way."

"It's not weird, Mako-chan. People have all kinds of tastes."

"It is to _me_. But you know what I mean, right?"

"I do. I...that's not it, really. If anything, I think it's the other way around."

"Huh?"

"Like...she gets really, really turned on and looks at me like she wants to absolutely devour me on the spot but she never _does_ and...and...why am I _saying_ these embarrassing things?"

"Because you're hard up and on your fifth beer?"

"Oh. Yeah."

"Now, since I called it totally right, then, I'd say my advice is just right. You've got to _demonstrate_ to your lady knight that her maiden in need of rescue is as hot to trot as the average bar wench. Like Souma. When we got to college I was convinced I wasn't going to put up with the fragile-as-china routine, so the first night when I invited him over I handcuffed him to the bed and by the time I finished lubing up the strap-on he'd figured out that I wasn't some delicate flower, damn it!"

Himeko had not particularly wanted to have those pictures of Mako-chan and her childhood friend in her head, but she had to admit that the point was a good one. Chikane was a tender and caring lover; she just needed to be shown that sometimes—not all the time, mind—being caring and considerate in bed meant _not_ being caring and considerate in bed. She picked up her phone off the counter and dialed.

"Himeko?" Obviously Chikane had caller ID or a special ringtone or something.

"Hi, Chikane-chan. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Not at all. I was just walking home from my last class of the day." Her voice was a warm purr, its rich tones combining with Himeko's general frame of mind to send tingles through her body.

"Oh, that's great! Anyway, the reason I called was, I'm cooking dinner tonight and this recipe always makes way too much for just two people, so I wondered if you wanted to join us?"

"I'd love to, Himeko. After all, I haven't had many chances to taste your cooking."

"Great! Come right over, okay? It'll be ready in about twenty minutes."

"I should be there in fifteen or so. I love you, Himeko."

"I love you too, Chikane-chan. Bye-bye."

"Goodbye."

Himeko hung up. "Yes!" she shouted, pumping her fist in the air. Now, she just had to get ready. She felt kind of bad for not telling Chikane the truth, but she consoled herself with the fact that she wasn't _completely_ lying. After all, if everything worked out the way she intended, she'd be happy to make breakfast for Chikane.

~X X X~

Chikane knocked on the door of the apartment her girlfriend shared with her longtime friend. She had to admit that she was excited; she hadn't yet gotten to eat Himeko's cooking, even if it wasn't a special dinner for the two of them. Plus, the fact that Himeko had immediately thought of her under the circumstances made her feel warm inside.

"Come in; it's open!"

Chikane twisted the knob and stepped into the entryway. She slipped off her shoes and went forward into the main living room area, which was dimly lit by a single floor lamp. She was already starting to wonder about the implications of the mood lighting—and why she didn't smell anything cooking—when soft arms closed around her from behind.

"Hi, Chikane-chan," Himeko's voice purred in her ear, before her teeth nipped at Chikane's earlobe.

"H-Himeko," Chikane stammered, the sensation of her girlfriend's arms around her, the warm breath tickling her skin already starting to awaken feelings within her. "Where's dinner?" she managed to ask.

"I thought I'd order delivery tonight," Himeko said. "And look, my very favorite arrived!"

Her hands slid up from Chikane's waistline, fingers lightly teasing the dark-haired girl's belly through her shirt before sliding up to cup her breasts.

"No, Himeko, don't do this," Chikane whimpered. Even as she did, she could feel her nipples stiffening against her girlfriend's palms, and her voice was so husky and choked with sudden desire that she sounded like the girls in her roommate's _hentai_ doujinshi.

Himeko gently bit at the long column of Chikane's neck, drawing a shuddering gasp from her lover.

"Sorry, Chikane-chan, but I can't do that. I know that you've been holding back with me, so I'm going to make sure that every inch of your body knows that I'm a grown woman who wants you every bit as much as you want me."

Her fingers slid in between the buttons of Chikane's shirt, brushing the lace-edged bra and soft flesh beneath before curling back, wrapping around the edges of the fabric, and tugged. Buttons gave way, popping loose and flying everywhere as Himeko tore Chikane's shirt open. One of the strawberry blonde's hands began to slide down Chikane's stomach, just reaching the hem of her skirt and the fastener holding it closed—

It was the apartment door that opened instead.

"Hey, Himeko! We brought groceries!"

Himeko spun towards the sound. Makoto Saotome stood framed in the doorway, a plastic bag in each hand.

"Mako-chan!" Himeko gasped. "I thought you were supposed to be spending the night at Souma-kun's place!"

"Well, I was, but we ran into your girlfriend and she told us about your making dinner and we thought we'd forgotten to tell you."

"We?" Himeko was sometimes a bit airheaded, but she caught the key word right away this time.

"Mmf! Mako-chan, these bags are heavy; could you move forward and—" Souma Ohgami came up behind his girlfriend, four bags in each hand, bags which immediately dropped to the floor as his jaw sagged open, since Himeko's turning towards the door had also turned the now flaming-cheeked Chikane. Souma's eyes screwed tightly shut a second later.

"I offered to help with the groceries, but they said no, I was the guest, so I should go on up and they'd be along when they'd gotten them out of the car," Chikane sighed.

"And your saying 'no' was because you knew they'd be following you up," Himeko sighed. Despite it all, Chikane still felt vaguely disappointed when Himeko let her go.

"Hey, don't stop on our account!" Makoto said. "Souma, grab the bags; we'll put the cold stuff in the fridge over at your place. And Himeko, since you've obviously learned to follow my sage advice, here's another tip."

"Oh?"

"Always lock the door _before_ you pounce!"

~X X X~

_A/N: This omake was inspired by a review by red9taildfox to Chapter 17 of this collection, wherein he/she pointed out that I'd now done two omake with the aftermath of Chikane's lovemaking embarrassing Himeko in front of a crowd and wondered if I was ever going to write the reverse. That sounded like an interesting challenge, particularly because, well, I couldn't actually think of a particular fetish that Himeko actually has. Chikane's "I will leave you speckled in hickeys" routine that I've highlighted in those previous omake was supported by canon—she actually does it in the manga, chapter 13. But Himeko...well, Himeko waking up into "I want to do those things with you too!" mode is part of the major points of her character development, so we really don't get to see her doing the kind of thing that can count as a favorite sex act._

_After a bit of thinking about it, though, I did realize that there was something she did do repeatedly: she pounces on Chikane from behind and pulls open her kimono top. Indeed, she does it three separate times in Volume 2 (okay, once is the chapter frontispiece for Chapter Final, also used as the table of contents, and a second time is in the vision Sister Miyako plunges Chikane into in Chapter 10, but the third time is the two of them together in the very last image we see of their "present" life in the story, so that has to count for something!)._

_I couldn't help but lampshade here one of what I think is the most idiotic tropes in hentai, where nearly any female will squeal "No! Don't! That's dirty!" at the least provocation (something which in real life would, I hope, cause their partner to actually, y'know, _stop_). Which makes sense if she's being attacked by a tentacle monster, not so much when they're working on the sixth position of consensual sex that she initiated. Heck, in some yuri stories, the girls will actually _switch off _saying it, which is grounds for ramming my head into a desk in frustration. Of course, Chikane is not an idiot, so Himeko should have known that there was a good reason for her _wanting_ to stop!_


	20. AmeMite:  A Very Different World

_A/N: This one is dedicated to my friend Fuyu no Sora, connoisseur of all things AmeMite, first for remembering that I'd made the gag in an e-mail about a year ago, and then reminding me that I really ought to write it._

~X X X~

Lunch in the rose garden was a regular ritual for the group of friends. Since they were scattered among two different classes, it was generally the first chance of the day for all of them to get together and talk. Until a few weeks ago, there had been only four of them, but Himemiya Chikane's girlfriend from a past life, Kurusugawa Himeko, had transferred to Ototachibana Academy and the four became five. Unsurprisingly, Himeko got along well with Chikane's friends, but even if she hadn't, she could hardly have been excluded. Indeed, she had a prior claim: Chikane had known about the hidden gap in the rose bushes because she and Himeko had used the garden as their private rendezvous spot during previous lifetimes.

Watching Himeko squirm through the hedge, Chikane couldn't help but think of the first time she'd seen that: a puppy had burst through the hedge and all but jumped into her arms, and on its heels had come a cute, girlish apparition with her hair in braids and a sweet, sunny warmth had bathed Chikane's heart ever since.

"I'm sorry I'm late, everyone," Himeko said, brushing off her uniform skirt. "Fujieda-sensei had to talk to me about my history paper," she said, pouting. "And I'd done a really good job of explaining the Sino-Soviet War of 1963."

Three pairs of eyes looked at her and blinked.

"Um...Himeko," Alice Ishida was the one to speak up, "there's no such thing as the Sino-Soviet War of 1963."

"That's what Fujieda-sensei said," Himeko groaned, joining the other girls on the picnic blanket. "And I'd done really well, too. I even remembered the part about how Khrushchev's speech came an hour after the invasion had actually started so it wasn't a cause of the war like the Americans had thought!"

Chikane chuckled.

"That's what happens when you don't spend enough time studying the history of _this_ world, Himeko."

"Ah," Alice deadpanned, understanding. "Someone tried to rely on past-life memories to get by without studying, methinks."

Himeko smiled sheepishly.

"Um...maybe a little?"

Chikane couldn't help feeling a little sorry for Himeko. After all, most often their high school grades were not of deep importance in their various lifetimes. They were, after all, the Solar and Lunar Priestesses of the God of Swords, Ame no Murakumo, and the reason for their multiple reincarnations was to fight against the incarnation of malice, Yamata no Orochi, defeating and resealing it whenever it broke free.

Or in other words, when you're fairly sure Armageddon is going to hit somewhere in your late teens, bad test scores are just not a real tragedy.

This lifetime was different. All indications were that Chikane and Himeko were going to live out normal human lifespans. Which meant that normal human concerns had as much of an effect on their future as they did for the other girls.

"It all sounds very confusing," commented Nanase Saya. "I think that I'm glad to only have one lifetime's memories."

"Oh, some of them I'm glad to have," Chikane said with a sly little grin. She might have gotten away with it, but Himeko blushed, apparently assuming that Chikane had meant...pretty much exactly what she _had_ been thinking of. Alice glared at her.

"You two are worse than newlyweds." She then turned to the fifth member of the group, Ohgami Shizuka. "And what's with you, Arrow? Usually by now you'd have been chiming in with a snarky remark about how they should take it easy in front of their poor single friend, but you're just leaning back and grinning."

"I'm happy today," Arrow said.

"It's true; you've been smiling all morning," noted Saya, who was in her class. "You should share the good news with the rest of us."

"Yeah, spill! We need to balance out the history news."

"All right, though you guys won't care...Tsu-nee got me four tickets for the final day of the July _hanbasho_ in Nagoya!" She made a giddy little fist-pumping motion. "And Otousan says we can go! They're _third-row_ seats!"

"Ah, that explains it," Chikane said. Unlike her friends, Arrow was a huge fan of martial-arts competitions: kendo, judo, MMA, and especially sumo. Alice and Saya joined in Chikane's grin at Arrow's obvious delight.

"Wah! You're so lucky!" Himeko burst out. "When we went in January, we had to sit so far back we could barely see, and it was only for Thursday on the first week—though Otousan was nice enough to let Shiro and I miss school that day so we could go at all. We got to see Takemikazuchi, though, so that was neat. He really should have been made _yokozuna_ by now; it's not _his_ fault that his trainer was caught up in the fixing scandals."

"Hey, now, wait a minute, you can't deny that his loss last September was pretty shady," Arrow countered.

"But he was still dealing with the knee injury, and he'd tweaked it in the previous match."

"That's what they said, but there wasn't any sign of it at the time...it looked a little off, and I think that's why they're holding back, to let any scandal die down."

"I don't believe it, and—" Himeko broke off. "Um...Chikane-chan, are you okay?"

In Chikane's defense, it wasn't just her. Alice and Saya both had that same "hit on the back of the head with a trout" expression, with staring eyes and slack jaws.

"Chikane-chan? Arisu-chan? Saya-chan?"

It was Chikane who recovered herself first.

"Himeko..."

"Yes, Chikane-chan?" Himeko peered at her closely, a little worry in her eyes, as if she was afraid Chikane had gotten overheated by too much sun or something.

"I don't remember you being a fan of sumo."

"I'd say that it's not you," Alice added, "but really, it's at least three or four stages weirder than just 'not you.' You got nervous about hitting people with sticks in kendo, and you're a wrestling fan?"

"You've never shown any interest in it in previous lifetimes that I remember, either," Chikane added.

"I've only been a fan since I was ten or so. My dad likes it almost as much as he likes baseball, so I got to see it on TV a lot. I was really surprised at how much strategy there is. And there's a lot of historical connections to Shinto ritual." She blushed a little, adding, "I read up on that, since I was interested in what all the formal things they were doing meant."

"You should hear my dad on that point," Arrow put in. "He could go on for hours about that."

"Well, he is a priest, after all."

"Yeah, but he's mostly just a fan and...hey, there's an idea. I've got these two extra tickets; I think that Tsu-nee meant them for Okaasan and a boyfriend but she doesn't much like sumo and, well, there is no boyfriend. So do you and your father want to come along with us?"

Himeko's eyes lit up.

"We'd love to! Thanks so much, Arrow-chan!"

Chikane just shook her head, chuckling. The idea of Himeko as a fan of sumo still surprised her. _I guess, _she thought, _it isn't only Himeko who gets caught relying on her memories of past lives._ She wondered what else might have changed during the sixteen and a half years they'd been apart in this life.

In a way, it was as if she'd get to meet and fall in love with Himeko all over again.

The thought put a smile on her lips and sent a warmth like a shower of sunlight through her heart.


	21. Not Quite How Detective Work Works

_A/N: This omake follows immediately on the heels of my fluff story, "Date Night Resolve," so you should read that one first if you haven't already. Go on, I'll wait! ^_^_

~X X X~

"I don't understand this at all," Kurusugawa Himeko...well, not _pouted_, exactly, but close enough that her roommate could make an issue of it.

"Quit whining, Himeko," Saotome Makoto said. "You and Himemiya-san watched the romance movie last night for your date, which was kind of obvious, and then you watched the horror film, too. Good thinking on that, by the way! Knowing you, you didn't even have to fake squealing 'Chikane-chan!' and flinging your arms around her whenever you got scared or surprised. You used to do it to _me_, after all, and you didn't have ulterior motives to get your arms around me the way you do with Tall, Dark, and Princessy."

"Mako-chan, you're awful."

"But accurate." The short, brunette girl grinned at Himeko shamelessly. That made it difficult to argue, since she refused to be embarrassed over what she was saying, and so far as the _facts_ went, well, Himeko couldn't contradict them. Particularly since she was possibly the worst liar on the face of the planet and Makoto would just laugh at her if she tried to deny any of it.

Besides, she was _supposed_ to want to hug her girlfriend, wasn't she? That was part of the whole idea of _being_ a girlfriend. And she was an adult woman of twenty, now, not a high-school kid who wasn't supposed to admit to those feelings.

"So," Makoto concluded, "having carried out your date with maximum efficiency, that just leaves the mystery for you to watch with me tonight."

"But it's so confusing!" Himeko protested. "The aunt has a motive because she didn't want the nephew to risk the family fortune on the investment scheme, the investment banker thought the heir was more likely to go along with whatever he said, the mistress was about to be dumped, the wife found out about the mistress, and the wife's private detective was trying his hand at blackmail! And they still haven't explained why the butler moved the murder gun from where he found it to the sundial, or why the woman's footprints only go into the gazebo and not out again. There's just too many clues!"

"That's the point, Himeko. Without red herrings to confuse the issue, there wouldn't be any mystery to puzzle the detectives and the audience."

Himeko looked down at the plushie she was cuddling in her lap. He'd been a present from Chikane, so he made for an obvious hug substitute when her girlfriend wasn't there.

"Well, the police ought to get some of Pen-kun's friends, then," she concluded.

"The police should get...stuffed penguins to help them solve crimes?"

"No, no, real penguins!"

"I'm sure that somehow makes sense...no, actually, I'm pretty sure it doesn't. What are you talking about, Himeko?"

"Penguins eat fish, right? So they'd be able to sniff out all the red herrings!" she completed the punchline.

"Himeko..."

"Yes?"

"Please tell me that this is not what being in love does to your sense of humor. 'Cause if Himemiya-san actually likes your puns, then we've got a real mystery on our hands."


	22. She'll Need an Advance on Her Allowance

_A/N: Thanks to my wife, Tarma Hartley, for giving me the idea for this omake. If you'd like to thank her too, you can go read her new GrimGrimoire fic! [/blatant plug] _

~X X X~

The shrine rising out of the mists was an eerie place, its eight towering prayer gates of an oddly purple-hued stone looming over the foggy heart of the structure like a flock of predatory birds—or perhaps instead a volt of vultures licking their chops in anticipation of a feast. The Necks of Orochi who perched on those gates were something vulture-like themselves, waiting for the world's destruction to tear apart the shreds. They thought themselves the bringers of that destruction, and perhaps they were, but their very existence had only come because the world was decaying enough that human malice had risen to the point that it called upon the spirit of chaos to manifest itself. In tearing the world to bits they were, in a sense, only scavengers ripping at a corpse.

If Tsubasa, the First Neck, had been present that image might have been different. There was nothing vulture-like about him! Nor were the Seventh and Eighth Necks there, their allegiance to the whole concept of Orochi very muddled.

Actually, forget the vultures. Without Tsubasa, Souma, and Chikane, the remaining Necks of Orochi mostly resembled a five-person comedy troupe whose flash-powder bombs had been replaced with real explosives.

At the very least, Sister Miyako _felt_ like the straight woman in a _manzai_ act, as she watched the incarnated wills of Yamata no Orochi desperately try to scribble out enough manga pages to meet a deadline that wouldn't come until after the world-ending eclipse, work on poses for a stage act that no one would see, or chase one another around with chains and giant hypodermic needles as relief for having the attention span of a gnat.

"Enough!" she screamed. They probably didn't hear her; the four bolts of lightning that speared down out of the swirling clouds and blasted Girochi, Corona, Reiko, and Nekoko _were_ fairly loud. "Now that I have your attention," she addressed the smoking wreckage, "may I ask how it is that all four of you managed to miss that we have a guest?"

She pointed down into the shrine where the mists parted to reveal a man of average height, average build, average features, a blue pinstriped suit, a white shirt, a blue tie with silver stripes, and a giant Afro.

All that lightning tends to throw a lot of static electricity around, after all. Any day when Sister Miyako had to vent her opinion of others tended to be a bad hair day.

She wondered if finding a good de-frizzer would make Tsubasa more inclined to pay attention to her.

"I can't be bothered to play security guard when I have a deadline coming up," Reiko stated.

"Yeah," Corona chimed in. "And I still haven't worked out the choreography for my closing number. Shouldn't the musclehead there be the one playing rent-a-cop at the door? All he needs is the dumb hat and he'd look the part perfectly."

"Hey! Whaddya mean I look like a cop, sixty...nah, sixteen...nah, it was...oh, whatever!" Girochi evidently was so offended that his delinquent chic was being compared to a security guard's uniform that he couldn't actually remember which number was Reiko's usual insult for the idol singer.

"But what's someone doing here anyway, nya?" Nekoko asked, too curious to offer excuses.

"That's a very good question. Let's just go and find out, shall we?"

Sister Miyako gestured, and the newcomer was surrounded with a seething purple aura. Carried by the power of Orochi, he levitated up to the same level as the Necks.

"You! Who are you, and what business do you have trespassing in the shrine of Yamata no Orochi?"

The man's eyebrows rose behind his steel-rimmed glasses.

"Yamata no Orochi? Excellent. Then I am in the correct place." His voice was clipped, even prim, with a crisp formality that seemed utterly out of place among the seething chaos of the Orochi. "My name is Aozaki Hiro, and I represent the Federated National Insurance Company." He opened his trim leather attaché case and extracted a sheaf of papers. "Now, our clients have recently filed claims with us for, ahem, three aircraft carriers, two F4-E fighters, a three-hundred-year-old Buddhist temple, a suspension bridge, and the greater part of the buildings on either side of Main Street in the village of Mahoroba. There was, I believe, also some mention of a mountain but we are denying that claim on the grounds that the policy covers damage to structures, not the obliteration of the real estate itself. I believe that in each case, members of your organization claimed responsibility?"

"Hell, yeah!" Girochi crowed.

"It was fun playing 'boom' with Nya-Nya, nya!"

"Thank you for the confirmation. Under our right of subrogation, the full amount due comes to eleven trillion, four hundred and seventy-eight billion, nine hundred and fifty-four million, two hundred and sixteen thousand, five hundred and thirty-nine yen. I am hereby serving you with a copy of the complaint and summons."

He extended the sheaf of papers; they floated over to Sister Miyako.

"Let me make sure that I understand you. You are presenting the disciples of the God of Destruction with a _bill for damages_?"

"As embodied in a legal action, yes."

Sister Miyako stared at him incredulously. Was the entire _universe_ made up of nothing but idiots and lunatics? Was this, in fact, why Orochi was poised to obliterate it all? She was on the verge of summoning up another lightning bolt to erase the fool...but then she just sighed and gave up. Killing Aozaki would not make the splitting headache pounding through her temples go away. Actually, it might do the opposite; thunder was, as a rule, rather loud.

"Fine, fine," she said, gesturing like she was shooing off a fly. "Go see the Eighth Neck at the Himemiya mansion outside Mahoroba. She's the only one of us who has any money, anyway."

"I shall do that. The Federated National Insurance Company appreciates your cooperation."

"Not at all." _If I just let him drop, would the impact be too loud? No, I'd better not; cleaning blood off a wood floor is next to impossible and I couldn't trust any of these idiots to do it right so I'd have to handle it myself._

Aozaki felt himself lowered down to the shrine floor, blissfully unaware that his continued health was largely due to Sister Miyako's fundamental dislike for getting stuck with household chores. The Second Neck had just about decided to go off for a badly-needed afternoon nap when she was interrupted.

"Hey, Sister?"

"_Yes_, Nekoko?"

"I thought that insurance policies had exceptions for damage or loss caused by acts of God, nya?"


End file.
